Encouraging progress through positive reinforcement can inspire them to keep making healthy decisions. While setting boundaries is essential, issuing ultimatums can create unnecessary pressure and defensiveness. Focus on collaboration and expressing concern instead of making demands. Moving onto now, we have a house, which I have to solely pay all the bills, to pay for everything. He would tell me how he was going to change, he got help from the local drug rehab clinic, but soon have that up. I’m barely talking to him because I’m so over everything.
- By being present and engaged, we reinforce our commitment to their journeys.
- Being in a relationship with an addict can be an incredibly challenging and complex experience.
- If your loved one is acting recklessly and putting themselves or others in danger, you may need to call 911 or involve a crisis intervention.
Constance Lynn Hummel, MA, RCC, CCC Specializing in relationships, sex addiction, and substance addictions
By taking these steps, you can provide meaningful support that encourages recovery and maintains your well-being. Remember, while you can support your loved one, you are not responsible for their choices or recovery. This approach helps shift the focus from trying to control someone else’s actions to nurturing your own emotional health. The goal is to focus on being responsible to your loved one, not for them. Many enablers think they’re acting out of love, but loving a person actually means giving someone the space to stand on their own. Spoon-feeding an addict by making their life easier isn’t helping them—it’s keeping them from facing the reality of their choices and making different decisions.
“Take one day at a time.” – Anonymous
When you’re living with an addicted person, you should expect to be let down over and over again. They’ll break promises, forget important dates and miss events with family and friends. No matter how many times your partner says they’re sorry, they’ll continue abusing your trust. Even the best intentions won’t loving an addict make a difference if the addict or alcoholic continues to abuse substances.
- He’s trying to get on my good side with cheap talk, but I just don’t have it in me anymore.
- Support is available for both those struggling and their loved ones.
- What really landed with me when I read the article today was the part about how the person in active addiction feels like their behaviors are survival.
- The National Institute on Drug Abuse defines addiction as “a chronic, relapsing disorder characterised by compulsive drug seeking and use despite adverse consequences”.
“With love, anything is possible.” – Anonymous
Although it may seem easier to stay in the “fantasy space” where you can continue to believe that things are going to magically get better, there is no such magic. Things will not get better just because you wish they would. Addiction is debasing in that higher values like love, compassion, unselfishness, and altruism are usually suppressed in the pursuit of the next high. Those of us who love someone who’s addicted can also get caught up in the daily ugliness of addiction. In our single-minded focus on rescuing our loved ones, it’s easy to lose sight of the goodness and beauty in the world. Detachment empowers us to turn away from the darkness of addiction toward the light of acceptance and hope.
Embracing the concept of being a work in progress allows us to recognize that growth takes time, especially for those battling addiction. Supporting our loved Alcoholics Anonymous ones through their journeys requires patience and understanding, accepting that progress may be slow but is still meaningful. This quote underscores the reality that healing takes time and dedication.
Help For Family and Loved Ones
Doing so will take away your ability to try and help your loved one and yourself. If they choose to continue using substances after a family has offered them an alternative solution, then any decisions they make after that should be addressed by them. The accountability they gain from this helps them see the need for change and helps them understand that their actions have consequences they are responsible for and not you.
Common Feelings That Come With Loving an Addict
Each step we take toward support creates a space for healing. Recognizing that overcoming addiction requires facing challenges head-on can be empowering. We often wish to evade struggles, but truly confronting them paves the path for healing. As we support our loved ones, we should encourage them to be brave and confront their addiction. This beautiful quote reflects the essence of our shared experiences. While we may each face different struggles, our connections can guide us toward healing and hope.
Substance Abuse Treatment
Love an addict by recognizing that they are sick but not lost forever. With proper treatment these sick individuals can get sober and the actions that they take part in as a result of their addiction will quickly dissipate. This quote emphasizes the importance of belief in the recovery process. Our faith in our loved ones’ ability to overcome addiction can serve as a catalyst for change. By nurturing this belief, we foster an environment that supports healing and encourages growth. This quote encourages us to embrace the opportunities each day brings.